We Are Who We Are
by xin79
Summary: Set after season4. Daniel left Mode for London,not realizing what he has left behind. Now, as he returns, will things ever be the same? Will he realize the one thing really missing from his life. A new life, new job, new Mode, new circumstances, who's say
1. Chapter 1

Everything seemed like what it was before I left. People scrambling around the lobby, figuring out as they ran if they still have jobs to go back to or not, some rushing around, trying to balance the coffee in one hand and stacks of papers on the other. I'm not going to say I don't miss this scene right here because I sometimes do, but that is no longer my life. The elevator door dinged, indicating for me to step in. I gingerly pressed the button to my intended floor, my heart starting to beat wildly. Will things ever be the same up there? Will it be like a black hole ones this doors open? Will people still remember me? What will they say? A thousand thoughts rushed through my head, all of which telling me to go back down. But before I could do so, the doors opened, and I stood still. This was it. The life I left behind. The life I swore I would never come back again. Slowly, the elevator doors started closing and upon reflex, I reached out and stepped out of the box. Timidly, I started walking; feeling everybody's stare upon me. Slowly, I regained my cool and started walking more confidently. Each stride was met with confused stares, agape mouths and people stopping still. I made my way to my old office, immediately seeing the one woman I was looking for.

"Hey mum." I said, leaning in on the door frame, my newly acquired accent making its presence known. Slowly, she dropped the papers she was holding and put down the glasses in her eyes on the table before she eagerly came to me, hugging me.

"Darling, what a surprise." She said, enveloping me into her warm embrace, smelling me and not letting me go. I can't deny that I didn't miss this because I do. I can feel her instant happiness radiating towards me and for that, a smile made its way on my face.

"Is that all you can say? I flew oceans for you and that's all you're going to tell me?" She finally let me go but still holding me on my shoulders.

"Well if you didn't leave just like that, I would have more to ask" she said. "Darling, I miss you, but what are you doing here. Is Alexis with you?" She further asked. But before I could answer the incessant clicking of Manolo's on the hard floor put everyone on their reverie. Before I could completely turn around, she was already in front of me. Time stood still for both of us. Both staring at each other, trying to figure out how much time had passed by. She is still the same person before I left-commanding, domineering and still beautiful. Nothing has changed, but deep down, as her eyes bored into mine, I knew something was definitely different. Her face resembled shock and I imagine mine would too. I didn't expect to see her here today, thinking that she was in a meeting or a shoot. But now, here we are both not moving, both too surprised. Finally, my mom made her presence known and I turned to her, so did she.

"Is there anything you need Wilhelmina?"

"The investors for the new magazine you were so insistent on publishing has been waiting for you at the conference room for more than 15 minutes." She said coolly, her face patronizing. She didn't even bat an eye lash towards me when she left, just like she came in, fear hanging by each stride as she went to her office. I looked at my mom.

"I hate it when she does that. Aw darling, I wish I could take today off but these investors are..."

"Mum, its ok. Go, I can hold my self while you do your job. When you're done we can go grab dinner and catch up." I said. She looked at me one last time before she finally left the room. I watched her as she made her way to the conference room, a smile on her face. That would have been me if I did not decide to leave three years ago. I watched as people tried to do their job. A few of them making mock ups, others coming out of their editors offices trying so desperately to be patient, while others simply were passing by. I couldn't imagine what happened when I was gone but I was glad things were running smoothly. Mum took care of the business in behalf of me. She managed the other 50% of the company by herself while Wilhelmina did the same.

I turned towards the couch, sitting down while I continued my ministrations. However, something caught my eye. She was at the other room, making notes on the book, probably getting ready for this months release. Wilhelmina definitely changed; there is something in her eyes that is different. I couldn't put it to words but its there. She still looks beautiful though. I always did find her attractive, even when we were still working with each other. Memories of my Last day here flooded me and I can still remember the time when I gave her the book, the last time I did so. I can remember her reaction as she tumbled through each page, looking at Fey's picture, then to ours and finally hers. I could read confusion shining on those deep blue orbs then. But her sadness afterwards was the one that will forever be etched in my memory. Why? I still don't know? I finally saw her glance at me and I turned around, standing up and looking over at the window. New York was no London. That, I can tell as much.

I waited around for two hours, growing impatient as each second passed by. My method of distraction as of this minute was tossing a stress ball, trying to determine how high I could toss it with out breaking a glass. As I tossed it up on the air, a loud crash came thudding on the table in front of me. I looked up, forgetting the ball. Immediately, I placed my feet down the floor, leaving its position earlier on the table which was now occupied with proofs and pictures.

"Here, take a look at the proofs. Their is a note pad on the drawer and a pen, give it to me once your done with it. You keeping on tossing that ball make me nauseous." And with that, Wilhelmina was gone. I watched as she returned to her office, not even taking a glance back. Hesitantly, I reached for a photo. Staring at it, trying to figure out what just happened. Did she just ask me to make changes? I looked over again, seeing Marc, her ever flamboyant ex-assistant now creative director enter her office, inhaler on hand.

" Willie, Omg, you won't believe this, I was on my way to the shoot when I heard Karen tell Carol that she heard Anne say that Mindy saw pasty face at the office. I mean people here are turning crazy, maybe you should..."

"I saw him." I said.

"You did? How, why, when? I mean..."

"Marc." I said warningly.

"Is he back?" He asked, taking a deep breath from his inhaler. When it didn't give a budge and his wheezing was starting again, I reached over my drawer, taking out a spare and tossing it at him. He looked at me, confusion in his eyes. I stared back.

"I don't want you passing out on my floor. This outfit was not made for picking up gay editors." I said, keeping my eyes again on the book in front of me. Marc patiently sat down, staring at me until I gave in. Ever since he was the creative director, he gained more courage to finally make me tell him what I am feeling, but that doesn't mean he is no longer afraid of me. We were, for the better lack of words, turning out to be friends. Not besties as Amanda would say, but friends. "I don't know Marc." I said finally.

"Well, have you talked to him?" He asked cautiously, but before I could answer, a knock came and we both looked at the intruder. "I'm gonna go, the shoot might be done now." Marc said, excusing himself.

I nodded, looking as he left before I finally settled my gaze on the book again.

"I was done; I didn't mean to barge in. I'm just gonna..."

"Come in if you must." I said finally. Slowly, I felt him sit down in front of me, taking residence on the chair Marc just recently vacated. I don't know what it was but the air suddenly changed as we both found ourselves alone. I reached for the proofs on his hand and he gave it to me. Our hands momentarily brushed and I felt his eyes travel to mine. I acted as if nothing happened and proceeded on flipping through the proofs, taking notice of his notes.

"Now that you know that I can still do my job" He started, looking at me. "How are things here Wils?" He said. I cringed slightly, suddenly feeling very different. It didn't take a genius to realize how much he has grown; both as a person and as a businessman. He is now more confident, more eager, bolder and more ambitious. I allowed myself to withdraw my eyes from the pages in front of me and look into his eyes for the first time. Blue met blue and I found my self getting lost again. I've always imagined what it would be like once he comes back but I never for once thought it would be like this. I thought he would be miserable, weak and lost. Not like this-not like a grown man that he never was when he was still here.

"Why are you back?" I asked, my voice giving me away.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Author's note: _Thanks for all the amazing reviews, I've had this idea for a long time now and _I _was not really expecting to write it but I did and I think you guys liked it. Thanks so much. This chapter as well as the last was filler or a toner, setting the mood of what is yet to come. Please be patient I will try not to disappoint you. I hope you guys enjoy this and reviews really make me happy. You all made my week. _

_-Chris_

Wilhelmina's POV

He is watching me again, he thinks he is being discrete, but what he doesn't know is that I've seen his eyes follow my every move like a hawk ever since we came in. So much has been going on that I can't even help but be vigilant of my self as well as my actions.

"So, what do you think?" Marc said, looking at me perceptively, looking obviously for my approval of something he was just yammering about. It took me a few seconds to think of an excuse but he already caught it.

"Are you ok Willie?"

"Of course I am Marc."

"It's just..."

"Just what?" I asked, leading him farther and farther away from the closet which we came from. Models and editors were everywhere, scrambling towards every direction in order to avoid me. I looked at Marc, expecting an answer and when he didn't say anything, I glared at him. Finally, he continued, perhaps seeing the fire in my eyes.

"You've just been not yourself lately." And when I didn't say anything, he finally continued. "Ever since you know who came back, you've been acting so jumpy, so disoriented-distracted even. And I know you Willie, I know a hurricane won't even distract you from a run through, but earlier, you were just out, you didn't even raise an eyebrow when Carol placed that hideous belt on the Gucci dress. I know this isn't my place to say, but I'm worried, we've come a long way since three years ago Willie, and I don't want you to have the look on your face as if expecting the other shoe to drop because we both know you are past that." When I still didn't budge, Marc finally grabbed my arms and made me look at him. And in the middle of the tube, with people within earshot and running past us, he asked me the one thing I don't even know what to say. "You are over it right?" He asked hopefully. I tried with all my might not to look at him because I know once I did, he would know, but the incessant shouting near the elevator grabbed both our attention.

Daniel's POV

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean what I'm doing here silly, you were supposed to pick me up at the airport, but you didn't show up, so I took a cab and made my way here, figuring that you would be and I was right." Her lithe arms slid around my neck, hugging me with all her might. I stood still, watching as the people around me stopped what they were doing. I looked away, not wanting to look at them. However, it seemed that it was a bad choice for my eyes settled on a piercing blue one down the tube. Marc had his arms around her as she looked at me and the girl who is currently wrapped around me and slowly, I watched her untangle herself and walk away as fast as she could. All I wanted was to run but a discrete cough behind me shook me back to reality.

"Hi, I'm Claire Meade, I'm..."

"Your Daniel's mother. I've heard so many good things about you." Finally, she let me go but she still stood close to me, her arms around my waist. Silence enveloped the three of us, my mom beaming at me wildly as I looked at her, flabbergasted. "Oh, how rude of me, I'm Eliza."

"Oh, nice to meet you dear." My mom said finally. Silence again enveloped us and we all stood still, not knowing what to do. Luckily, Marc made his way towards us, his demeanour so astute and on point. His arms were tucked around a folder as he not so discretely looked at Eliza from head to foot.

"Claire, Wilhelmina is waiting for you at the Conference room." He said, giving all of us nasty looks and just like he came, he went. I looked at my mom and she nodded, telling us to follow her. I walked behind them, watching as my mom and Eliza got better acquainted.

"What a lovely offices you have here Mrs. Meade, so well ran."

"Thank you. We try to keep it as much as business like as possible. Of course here at Mode, that's a bit different."

"Why?" Eliza asked expectantly. Instead of giving her an answer my mom nodded, gesturing for her to enter the conference room. Wilhelmina was perched on one of the chairs, blackberry pressed on her ears as her other hand tapped swiftly on the laptop in front of her. When all of us were inside and settled in, she gave us a look and we all waited silently for her to finish.

"Look Giorgio, I can't do Milan this weekend, we have a team building thing...I'll make sure that is taken cared of...Ciao darling." She finally said. As she set her phone down, she gingerly looked at us. "So?"

"Wilhelmina, I'd like you to meet Eliza, Daniel's..." Mom started but she was cut off by Wilhelmina.

"Yes, yes..." She said, nodding her head towards Eliza as she rolled her eyes. "I don't really have enough time Claire, so can we just go to the part where we discuss this team building thing because...Hold on." She raised her hands, snapping open her phone with the other. "I can't talk right now, I'm in a meeting. Take a message and I'll call back."

"Since we can clearly see your busy," Mom started "I think it would be a better idea, if you and Daniel go to this team building thing and I'll stay here, make sure everything is running smoothly."

Both of us looked at each other, both clearly shocked. "What?" we said in unison.

"You can't do that to me Claire, why don't you go and I'll keep things here a float. You can then go spend family time with your little family here." She said, referring to Eliza and me, disgust in her face.

"But mom..."

"Listen, the investors are expecting a report by Monday, a more concrete concept, I can't leave. Besides, what's the point of me being there when Daniel is around? Darling, it would be good for the people to see that you are still part of this company." She said. Mom looked at me then to Wilhelmina then back to me.

"Fine, the schedule is with Marc, we are leaving by the end of the afternoon." Wilhelmina said surprisingly, leaving the room.

"But D, what am I going to do?"

Wilhelmina's POV

"Willie..."

"Marc, not now. I promise we can talk about it but please, not now. Just..."

"I just wanted to tell you that the car is at the front of the building." He said. I nodded, gathering my bag and coat, waiting for Marc and the driver to take the others with them. My heart was in a limbo and being in the same car as him was just too much. We entered the elevator and just as it closed, the image of him hugging that Eliza woman was too much to bear. Still, I tried to keep my composure and waited for the elevator to arrive at the basement. As it did, I walked a head of Marc and the driver, eager to get into the car and not be faced with questions. I do not know how long I've stared blankly a head but the next thing I know, the car was moving a head and Daniel was already beside. Both of us did not say anything, choosing to relinquish in the silence. It was not that long of a ride, an hour tops and before we knew it, we were at the hall already. The last time I was here with him...I did not allow my self to go there so instead, I did what I think I needed as of that moment-out.

"Stop the car." I said. The driver as well as Daniel looked at me and before they could ask why, I was already out. That was the last thing I needed him to see but being in the same car with him was too much. How can I keep on pretending when those memories I am so trying to forget is right in front of me? The trail I was currently walking on was damp and it would probably ruin my Louboutin heels but I did not mind. I watched as the geese paired into two and floated away, relishing the company of their significant other. Maybe this is what I needed, fresh air. However, the subconscious really has a away of its own and the next thing I saw was the last thing I ever wanted to see.

Daniel's POV

She bolted just like that. But why? Is this too much? Was my decision to come back a bad one? And Eliza? Too much was swarming on my mind, all unpleasant and I suddenly felt the yearning for a hot liquid burning my throat. So, I left my room, leaving my bags unpacked and made my way to the bar. It was packed; mostly males were in the room, nursing themselves a shot of something. I scanned the room quickly, looking for any familiar face and I did. But what I saw alerted me. Briskly, I pushed people out of my way, wanting to get closer as much as possible. My mind was being bombarded with images as it happened right in front of me and all I wanted to do was get there and knock some senses into that bastard. However, when I was close enough, I regained half of my brain but not all for my fist connected with his cocky face. He fell back, a collective gasp echoing around the room as I felt a familiar presence behind me.

"She said back off."

"What the hell is your problem man? I was just having some fun with that bitch." He said, swaying as he stood up, his nose bleeding. "Come here darling; let's finish what we've started." He added, grabbing her arms again but I was quick enough, landing my second blow to his face.

"I said get your hands of her."

"Says who?" The man said, ready to strike back but I was luckily quick enough.

"Says her boyfriend." I added. "If you ever get your hands on my girlfriend again, I'll make sure a bleeding nose is not the only thing you'll get." I pushed him back, my hand burning from the contact. But at the moment, that was not any of my concerns. I grabbed her hand, leading her away from the bar and out at the hotel as fast as we could. I kept on walking, dragging her along with me.

"That bastard, how dare he touch you?" I said, keeping on walking as the familiar texture of grass hit our feet. "I mean are you ok?"

"Daniel." She said but I heard none of it.

"I mean, who knows what he could have done to you. If you were hurt I would never be able to forgive mys..."

"Daniel," She again said. Her voice now louder but I was still to oblivious to it, the blood still boiling in my head. "Daniel." She said now even more loudly than the initial one, tugging at our joined hands and that's when I noticed my hand shaking. I slowly looked at her, her eyes shining brightly as the moon perfectly casted a beam on her. She looked beautiful and tranquil but the worry in her eyes brought me back to earth. "Are you ok? Did he hurt you?" I asked again. But she shook her head.

"Daniel, I'm ok." She said and I looked at her, trying to make sure that she was. "Really, I am." I watched her gaze as it settled on our joined hands. I was so sure she was gonna pull back but she didn't. Instead, she surprised me. Slowly, she tugged at my hand gently and led me towards a bench.

"Your hands are swollen." She stated. Brushing her fingers to it lightly, examining the cuts and bruises that was appearing. "You didn't have to do that you know...But, thank you." She said, still not looking at me. Her voice was surprisingly calm and for one moment, I was lost. My heart was beating faster; each stroke awakened my senses, each pressure, releasing hidden memories. Then, I saw that bastard and what he did to her and I couldn't help my self. Slowly, I placed my other hand on top of her and she stilled her movement, still not looking at me. And as if ruled by my heart, I tipped her chin, making sure her eyes were looking at me.

"I'll do it all over again if it means keeping you from harm Wilhelmina." And with that a single tear slid down from her eyes and then...


	3. Chapter 3

_Authors Note: Thanks for all the reviews and enthusiasm, it has not gone by unnoticed. I really really appreciate it. I know you really want to know what happened then and I tried to do that in this chapter but I think it is not yet the time. The characters tell me what to write and as of the moment, they haven't. Still I hope you like this and reviews are more than appreciated. Thanks and enjoy!_

"What do you want?" she asked, not even bothering to look up.

"Can I join you?"

"Well, I don't see anyone else occupying the space." She said folding the newspaper in half as she took a sip of her tea, watching as the other person getting settled on the chair opposite to her.

"Not drinking coffee hmmm. I never thought I'd see the day." Instead of an answer, his futile attempts of a pleasant conversation were met by piercing blue gray eyes penetrating his, telling him to shut up.

"Wilhelmina, about last night..."

"Let's just drop it Daniel, I'm not in the mood nor do I want to talk about it."

"Ok." He said, finally conceding. As the waiter came to take his order and left a few seconds later, both of them settled into old routine, as if nothing ever changed.

"Are you done with the front page?" He said reaching for the newspaper in front of her. Without even batting an eyelash, Wilhelmina passed the paper to him as she herself divulged the business page. A few seconds later, Daniel reached out, accepting the now finished business page from Wilhelmina and putting down the other. He passed the lifestyle section to her gladly and she accepted. It was a routine both new by heart. Though shocked they still remembered it, both did not show it. It was as if not a day passed by and they were still in the Hamptons, enjoying their breakfast, looking forward to the languid day a head. It is moments like these that make Daniel question all his motives. Before he could continue with his musings, their food arrived, and both settled their newspapers aside.

He ate his bacon and pancakes eagerly, his hunger apparent all of a sudden. As he continued chewing, he noticed something. Without even thinking of the repercussions that might happen to him, he asked for the waiter.

"I'd like to order some of the croissants and blueberry muffin you have there. And I'd like more of this." He said, pointing towards his plate. Wilhelmina raised an eyebrow but continued eating the banana in front of her. It was rare for her to eat banana, let alone breakfast. As the waiter placed the order on the table, Daniel cautiously placed the bacon, the pancake and the muffin on her plate.

"I want half of that gone before we leave." Daniel said casually, not even looking at her. And when he did look up, he saw Wilhelmina starring at him, expression unreadable.

"Please, just eat that, at least half of it."

"You ordered this, you eat it. I'm not hungry." She said, pushing the plate away towards him.

"Oh come on Willie, we both know you are hungry. I've done you a favour by ordering this, now eat it." But moments passed by and Wilhelmina still hasn't eaten any of the food he ordered for her. So, like any person would do, Daniel reached over and made a show of eating the bacon with his fingers, licking and sucking at it. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Willie, eyeing him and he knew his plan was working.

"Do you mind if I eat all of these. I mean I don't want it to go to waste and all." He reached over again, eating as Wilhelmina looked at him in complete awe and disgust.

"You're a pig." She said leaning back a bit, clearly disturbed by Daniel's inappropriateness. Without even a warning, Daniel picked a piece of bacon and held it for Wilhelmina.

"Come on, open up. We both know you love this." He said, trying desperately to let her eat it. And as if finding the absurdity in the situation, he laughed, and as a result, a few people stared at them. "Come on, open up, we don't want your audience to be disappointed." Wilhelmina looked at the people watching them and as if it got worse, Daniel proceeded to make train sounds, as if feeding a two year old. Wilhelmina immediately grabbed the bacon, hoping it would make him stop and it did. As she swallowed the small piece she took, she couldn't help but let a small smile creep on her lips as she saw Daniel's triumphant one.

"Happy?" She said mocking angrily.

"Very." He said, pushing the plate in between them so they can share. He watched from the corner of his eyes as he saw Wilhelmina take a bite from the muffin he ordered.

"Thought that would make you eat it. Works every time." He said, taking a piece of the muffin himself. Blueberries-that were her favourites. Back then, she would pretend she wouldn't eat such a thing but every time they went out for breakfast or grabbed a bite, he would order one because the smile on her face just like now cannot be compared to any other. He loved it when she let go of all her inhibitions. Back then, he would marvel in these moments, remembering each one as it unfolded in front of him.

"I've learned how to bake one of these." Daniel said, gesturing at the muffins as both of them continued to share it. Wilhelmina looked up, dabbing her mouth with a napkin. A new found light was shining on her, making her look more beautiful to Daniel's eyes.

"Maybe you should bake me some one of these days." She said, smiling.

"I'd like that." He said. Their hands both reached for the remaining muffin and accidentally brushed the other. Wilhelmina looked at him just as he did and both of them laughed. "You can have it. After all, it was for you."

"It's nice to see you guys are working together again." One of the editors said referring to Daniel and her. Wilhelmina nodded, not saying a word.

"Is he really back?" Another asked. Before she could answer though, Daniel came over, touching her lightly on her back. She jumped a bit, startled but was able to recover.

"Ladies, may I borrow Ms. Slater for a while?" Daniel asked the editors surrounding Wilhelmina.

"Excuse us." Wilhelmina said, following Daniel as he led her out to the balcony. When they were alone and out by themselves, Daniel began.

"An editor came to me, hinting about the possible position on the new magazine, what is that all about." He asked, looking at her.

"Claire wanted to open a new magazine and some huge investors are on board with it so that means more budgets, with that come better pay check and greater privileges." She said to him.

"What is this new magazine all about, no one asked me about this?" He replied, sounding more edgy than he wanted to be.

"Well, I asked Claire to handle it so I supposed she told you about it already. It's a lifestyle magazine. We'll feature latest trends on lifestyle, latest hot spots, and vacation areas. It's a guide book for the rich and famous." She said, brushing it off as if it was nothing. As Daniel was about to ask something else, his phone rang and he excused himself, picking it up.

"Hey...I know, I know. I should have taken cared of that before I left but it was such a short notice... I didn't approve that, I said we will talk about it with them, I didn't say it was as good to go...Look, I'm busy right now...I know you flew all the way from London but I just can't leave right now. Let's just talk when I get back."

Daniel shoved his phone in his pocket, looking straight a head, thinking of something.

"Trouble in paradise?" Wilhelmina asked. For a moment, Daniel forgot she was there until she was beside him. He looked at her and shook his head.

"What do you mean?"

"The phone call." She said.

"Eliza?" He asked and she just nodded.

"She is not my girlfriend. She is a partner at my new venture. We were supposed to meet some executives this week but I got caught up and she was kind of pissed." He said, looking at her. As he did so, he noticed the uneasiness on her and so he proceeded. "Besides, she is a lesbian." He added, looking at her again and this time, she looked back, a small smile appearing on her face.

"Oh." Was all she was able to say. She moved deliberately, both Daniel and her facing each other.

"Besides, I have not been dating anyone for the past three years."

"So, you said you have a new venture, what is it?" She asked, moving away and looking straight a head, ignoring the implications of his last statement. But Daniel saw through facade and he knew that she was relieved to know this but at the same time scared. So he did what he wanted to do and pulled her towards him. He placed his hands on her back as both of them stared a head.

"I founded a media corporation-Meade productions. Its quiet a huge hit in the UK and some of the investors here want to bring some of our shows here in the US market. That's why I came back." He said, moving his hands slowly on her back. She couldn't help but feel the warmth of his hands or the feeling of security in his arms and for a moment, she forgot everything. "I also came back for us."


End file.
